When Tom decided to introduce me to his family, he told me about everyone -- and when it came time to talk about his dad, he said "you could tell my dad he'd won a million dollars or tell him he had 3 months to live, and he'd react the same way".
Tom was correct. When Digger got bad news about his health, he took it in stride. The result is that each of my visits with Digger in the last year of his life, I felt calm, safe, and valued. Just like I did every time I spent with him.
Without fanfare or drama, Digger made everyone welcome. He remembered everything and the result was that you felt special - because he was able to quietly and steadily, turn the conversation to you and topics he knew you enjoyed. He always knew something about everything. The result of his fine conversation skills was that I failed to spend enough time finding out about him.
I did observe, however, that just as Digger remembered everything- he also saw everything. During our family gatherings -- when his house was full - -he'd watch. Sometimes, I'd watch him sometimes, which meant that I watched him watch everyone else. He would sit - perhaps in his red chair or in the kitchen -- and observe his family. His eyes followed his three girls -- smiling as they moved about taking care of their families and their nieces and nephews -- and listening to the stories of their days. He'd watch his grandchildren play and always had a kind word or a teasing smile for them as they passed by. He'd talk with Tom -- I understand he was the first in the family to drop "Tommy" and never slipped after Tom asked it cease to be used.
There are few in my life that taught me more than Digger about how to love. I am grateful for his example and hope that more than just his branch of his family tree continues on in my own home. I hope his example of how to cherish those you hold dear is one I can continue and pass along to my own children
*****************************************************
No comments:
Post a Comment